Super Konyo: SONA Edition*

[Nyeta. SONA na naman bukas. Magtitipon-tipon na naman ang lahat ng mga bulok na buwaya sa Pilipinas. Ang mga taong naging dahilan ng pasakit, kahirapan at pagkalugmok ng ating mahal na Inang Bayan. Kung bakit ba naman kasi pinapayagan natin ang ating mga sarili na kontrolin ng mga tangenang mga pulitikong ito, naku!

Naiisip ko pa lang sila na nagpapakasasa sa resources at biyaya ng Pilipinas, umiinit na dugo ko! Gaya lang ng mga simpleng bagay tulad ng paggamit ng sirena sa kanilang mga sasakyan kasabay ng kanilang mga police escort, akala mo kung sinong mga demonyong may-ari ng highway! Sila ang mga pulitikong ankukupal na kahit traffic na traffic ay talagang hinahawi ang mga sasakyan gamit ang kanilang sirena. Mga buwakang ina niyo! Mga hayup! Kaming mga tagabayad ng buwis ang may-ari ng mga highway, hindi kayo! Mga pakshet. Ankakapal ng mga pagmumukha niyo!

Sana bukas, may tsunaming dadaan sa Kongreso at unahin kayong burahin sa balat ng mundo para umayos na ang buhay ng mga Pilipino! Kung bakit naman kasi ang mga trahedya at kalamidad ay nangyayari pa sa mga inosenteng mahihirap sa probinsya eh! Ankakapal ng mga mukha niyo, mga buwaya!

Anyway, ito ang Super Konyo na sinulat ko sa dati kong blog. Jusme, di ko lubos maisip na after all ng mga pangyayari sa buhay ko, applicable pa rin siya.]

*Originally written in my BLOGDRIVE blog on July 27, 2005

Always every year na lang, the pangatlo or the pang-apat week of July is always a pasakit this pakshet to my life. This SONA of the President with a big balat in the face, always affecting my life. As in to the bones, like it goes tagos not only to the tendons but until the 100th layer of my soft and smooth skin and non-osteoporic bones! Siyet.

'Coz last Monday, even if we do not have classes in the Isko University, I was reading and reading this very kapal book in the name of "Revolt of the Masses" and I was like, very engrossed, almost being possessed by the ispiritu of this Andres Bonifacio.

But I had to go to this very sosyal Ever Gotesco, you know - where all the katulongs and boys in the Commonwealth Avenue make lambing-lambing every Sunday - to bayad this pakshet telephone of mine. This Bayantel is sooo garapal they cut my line which caused the downfall of my lovelife just because I didn't pay for choo months.

So, I went there, I even ligo and scrubbed till I sugat my skin so as to be very presentable to the katulongs and boys who will be there at Ever coz that day, this pakshet of the President who is a nuno sa punso declared it a holiday so she won't be pahiya during the walk-out in the Session Hall.

However, I really had a lapse in judgment. 'Coz I forgot that I live in this very posh village of Batasan. You know, the haven of the adiks and the pushers and the mamamatay taos. So I had some leisure walk going to the terminal of the tricycle in Sandigan expecting some light at the end of the tunnel.

But no. All I saw were maiitim militaries who were in uniform who either made higa in their duyan that was tali in between the small trees or lining up for this pink ihian that was really, really, ewe, so mabaho, it reminded me of my own self.

Then I saw more lalake, like in blue. I thought they were buwayas but no, they were like pulis. And I thought, they were like sexy men coz I saw some bulges, like you know, some asses, lining up in the island of the road with some pink kulungan. And ewe, I almost died of tawa coz those bulges were not perky pwets but like tiyans of the manongs.

And pakshet of all pakshets. It was like, there were no modes of transpo 'coz the roads were blocked I was tempted to really transform into Darna. So I had to tricycle from Sandigan till Ever and I saw more buwayas in blue lining with their buwaya tiyans.

And there were so many rallyistas. Like one group in the north. And another in the south. Very sepa-separated this country of ours! Like, ewe. I thought, is my ka-serendipity just out there, being mabaho already in the scorching heat, making sigaw like Gloria Resign. Ow, so por dat thought, I suddenly ran to the overpass of the Ever Gotesco to see the below if my ka-serendipity is just there among the crowd. But no.

The mabaho bodies of these laborers and people below the poverty line were jampacked inside the overpass to iwas the init of the araw but they themselves amoyed araw very much. And I said, enough of the chance to see my ka-serendipity. See!! This nuno sa punso of a Gloria really is destroying my life. I thought pa naman that a cinematic event will happen already in front of the Ever Gotesco. Like me and my ka-serendipity, meeting up in slow motion in the center of the overpass. Hmf! I'm pusok.

So I braved through the amoy of init and kili-kili and hininga of the masses. And I panalangin so hard that I could get out of there alive. I thought, I didn't die in the hands of the adiks in Batasan but I will die in the kili-kili of the masa in the Ever. Pakshet. I thought, I shouldn't have ligo. The effort to ligo was really very futile.

Then, all I could see everywhere were panindas of the cariocas and banana que and kamote que and skyflakes and taho and mais and pishbol and kwek-kwek and all pagkain of the laman-loob that you can think of. The only missing there were pirated cds and dvds coz the buwayas with perky pwets are kalat everywhere! Bwahahahaha. The Muslims shouting di-bi-di, di-bi-di are also takot rin pala. Dam-et.

So finally I got out of my unos in the overpass, I got in at Ever and never really regained my self-esteem coz I smelled like the people shouting Gloria Resign.

And I laughed and laughed and laughed. Coz there was also a pro-Gloria rally in front of that Sandiganbayan. And people with putoks were walking from St. Peter Parish going there and vice-versa. There were like, cmon, two rallies and the people just lakad a little and tawid bakod so that they could kain the libreng packed lunch of both rallies! Those stupid politicians. Believing that all the shoutings are true but the people with putok just want the libreng lamon.

At least I already bayad the Bayantel and I decided to lamon many lasagna and crunchy trios in the Greenwich Pizza to hupa the baha of putok when I go back.

But I had lapse in judgment again. Not only once. But twiceeeee!

So there, I lakad amidst the overflowing kili-kili powers in the overpass and I survived like any true patriot.

And pakshet, when I got home, I still felt very alone and cheated by that duwendeng Gloria. Coz I arrived home without even knowing if my ka-serendipity was just in the corner of that rally, shouting and shouting until his mouth opened 360 degrees celcius without recovery.

Hay. Por dat, I should again go to the rally in the Ayala area. Coz at least in that very plastic world of Makati, some manggagawas are dressed in long sleeves with neckties. So they are not halata that they are also pesante and living below the poverty line.